Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Wedding Wednesday

Last week, on Wedding Wednesday quite a few people requested some post-wedding advice. Take it with a grain of salt, of course, every bride is different.

Today I'll share what I learned about my actual wedding day. I will spend another post, on a different day, on things I learned about planning if you guys are interested.

(Our first dance)

I learned that you tip your vendors. I had absolutely no idea. I was the first of my friends and family to get married and somehow my planner never mentioned it. I was struck with this information a month after my wedding and was really upset that we didn't have budget left to tip our amazing vendors. Instead I wrote thank you notes (still have a couple left to do) to everyone we worked with. They were truly amazing and I wanted them to know it. Budget for this. They deserve it!

I learned that things will go wrong. Your definition of wrong. Your guests definition of wrong. Your planners definition of wrong. It doesn't matter whose definition. Shit happens.

I learned that things that you think you will care about, you won't care about (at least not in the moment). For example, every square inch of my wedding was white but for some reason some purple flowers snuck into our chair garlands. I looked at them when I walked in, thought to myself "ohhhh I don't really like that" and kept walking.  Its your wedding! Who cares about your chair garlands?

I learned that you have to make an extremely conscious decision to spend the entire night with your husband. It won't just happen. There are so many people there for both of you, you will get pulled into a million different directions if you let it happen. I had my planners assistant on "Spencer Patrol" every time we got separated. I wanted to have my memories of our wedding night be together. I wanted to remember my wedding WITH Spencer. This one was huge for me. I can't it emphasize enough.

I learned you can't control the weather. It sucks, but you can't. Our entire ceremony and cocktail reception was planned to be outside but a week before, when I saw the forecast, I knew it wasn't going to happen. We ordered outdoors heaters and pashminas for our guests, but that morning I woke up and it was 50 degrees. There was no way people were going to be comfortable outside. It broke my heart. We chose our venue for the amazing scenery, but there was nothing we could do. 


  1. Great advice. Most of the things that go wrong, no one even knows!

  2. Great advice! I got married this February and everything that could go wrong, did. My dad had an eye infection and had to wear sunglasses, and the best, my now husband had an allergy attack right after the ceremony and we spent our reception at the ER while everyone else danced and had a good time (but honestly, isn't that who the reception is for?)! We had horrible, disappointing vendors and sadly none of it came at a cheap price. Sigh...... maybe we'll renew our vows at year 5.

    The thing is though, and most surprising for me, was that I wasn't upset about any of this in the least bit. I thought I would be, but I just wasn't. The most important thing is, that at the end of the day you're MARRIED. The whole reason you were planning this in the first place :)

    Love that photo-- gorgeous!


  3. Great advice! I just got married a little over a year on labor day weekend. The weather broke 3 records that day; hottest temperature in history for that day (97 degrees), the biggest temperature drop for that day to the next (the next day we woke up and had to wear pants and coats!!) AND the most wind!! Our guests had to drive home in a terrible wind/rain storm.

    Definitely can't predict the weather! All in all it was a beautiful (HOT) day. The weather didn't turn ugly until the very end of the night when it was time to leave.


  4. Ohmygosh this post should be pinned out the wazoo. I didn't know about the tipping of vendors until my planner mentioned it the night of the wedding and we were like oooooooh. We didn't budget for it. Still haunts me. And great advice to make it a priority and designate some on the new husband duty to ensure y'all are together. Because you do get pulled in 5 million directions.

  5. Awesome tips. I'm getting married in April and it's posts like these that are important to me right now. I'm constantly wondering, "What am I forgetting?" and worried about how much time Brandon and I will be able to spend together during our reception. I'm also worried about the weather! But you're right, there's no control over that and we have to learn to stop worrying.

  6. Keep tips like that coming! Everyone has their checklist, but no one plans for the unknown.

  7. I really love your honesty. I am a control freak and these are great tips. Sometimes, you have to pick and chose what to be upset about! Although I am not planning a wedding anytime soon, consider this series bookmarked for a future date! :)

  8. wonderful and insightful advice!

    Based on that beautiful reception photo- I would never even think about the scenery outside!!! You created such a beautiful atmosphere! :)

    Congrats to you two newlyweds!


  9. I agree that the things you think you would care about end up not being that important. I went in with these grande ideas but things DEF. went wrong for us and in the end, what was most important was having fun with my new husband and that's what we did. Love this post, Alex!! I need to send to my bff's who are about to get married! xoxo

  10. Excellent tips. I love the one about sticking with your husband all night. A newlywed couple advised my fiance and I to hold hands throughout the night and to not let go! They agreed that we'd be pulled apart all night if we weren't careful.


  11. A little late to the party here, but thank you so much for this post!! I keep meaning to email you, but this is the kind of stuff I wouldn't even think to ask about and am totally going to keep in mind now! XO

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  13. why am i just reading all your wedding posts now?! well, ours is in a month and these tips are so great. i will keep them locked away, thank you!

  14. I've been to every larger venue in the town and this is one of the best. Most of the negative elements of going to a more popular place are avoided here; the staff was really mature and respectful.
    reception hall


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